an addictive act

I have smoked cigarettes for years. There might come a day when I decide, truly, to quit. Today isn’t that day though, I enjoy it too much. The actual smoking is what I enjoy, not so much the occasional coughing, or the nic fit when I go without for a while.
Anyway, those trivial matters aside; it’s what it is, to be a real smoker, which I would like to discuss.
There are a lot of things to consider, being a smoker. I will list a few here:
1) Having at least one pack, always
2) Having the money for said pack (and back-ups)
3) Having a working lighter
4) Having additional back-up packs
5) Having a back-up lighter
6) Knowing where all this stuff is
7) Making sure this stuff is easily accessible
8) Knowing where smoking is allowed (this gets more difficult each day)
9) Having at least one pack, always
The nature of the addiction is to make number one important, therefore, it must be mentioned twice.
So, having laid down a few basics, I will let my rant begin.
In most any social setting, at any time, I find myself going through the same scene. I can’t seem to avoid it, and I’m resigned to always playing my part. One day, I’ll ad-lib (if I really need to get into an argument, or a fight), but for now, the scene goes something like this:

Act 1- Scene1
Curtain rises on a bunch of people, standing outside a night-club. Danny stands at stage left, quietly enjoying his cigarette. After a minute, Random Guy makes his entrance.
Random Guy: “Sup”
Danny: “Sup”
Random Guy lingers around for a moment.
Random Guy: “Hey, can I get a smoke from you?”
Danny: “Sure, here”
Danny rummages around in his pocket, withdraws a pack, removes and hands over a cigarette.
Random Guy: “Thanks, man”
Danny: “No problem” Then turns, and goes back to enjoying his cigarette.
Random Guy: “Um, you gotta light?”
Danny: (sighs) “Yea, here…”
Danny reaches back into his pocket, and pulls out a cheap lighter. The kind of cheap lighter that anyone can find, for like, 99 cents at any convenience store, anywhere. I mean, there is practically a Quik-Trip on every street corner. I’m not talking about forming an expedition, to find the Holy Grail; I’m talking about buying a Bic. Then he lights the cigarette.
Danny: “Perhaps you’d like me to smoke it too. Ha, ha.” A loud chortle, to make Random Guy think he’s just kidding.
Random Guy: “Ha, ha… Yea, so anyway, thanks”
Danny: “Hey, don’t mention it”
Random Guy exits. Danny finishes his cigarette.
End scene: Curtain comes down.

Such real life events never win a Tony Award, and that’s too bad, or I would have run out of room in my trophy case years ago. But, I want to point out a few things in that scene. You probably noticed that Random Guy hadn’t covered any of the basics, which I outlined earlier. I need to say, Random Guy took a hit of the cigarette, and he didn’t turn green and start an uncontrollable coughing fit. He actually is a smoker! I simply don’t understand it. Is it the cost of smoking? Would he just rather me pay for his habit? These things are near four dollars a pack! I spend enough, just to support my own consumption. Did he run out? I run out, it happens, but, I don’t throw my lighter away when I do. Is he in the process of quitting? I’ve been there, done that. If you’re going to smoke one, you might as well just buy a pack, because it doesn’t work that way. I tell people that I quit every time I put one out, but, serious quitting is all or nothing (and you can ask Preston about that, too. Or, any other former smoker).
I’m a nicotine junkie, therefore I adhere to the previously mentioned basics. When I plan to drive anywhere, I carry my keys. If I plan to buy something, I carry money. Knowing I’m going to smoke, I keep the necessary implements on my person. These, in my mind, are all proverbial American Express cards- “Never leave home without it.”
But then, I did say “in my mind,” and that makes it all complete, utter, universal, and absolute nonsense…