The Dodekatheon of Twitter

In Greek myth, there were 12 particular gods presiding over mortal-life. Sure, there were many gods, but, only a few had their own chair, atop Mt. Olympus.

In the Twitterverse, there are thousands of equally important voices. Twitter actually gets choked with so many individual voices.

So, I'm picking a subject: COMEDY!
Well now, within comedy on Twitter, I'm gonna attribute people to the Mt. Olympus Twelve.
In honor of the 2012 Olympic Games, here is my Twitter Comedy Dodekatheon:
1) Zeus: Rob Delaney @robdelaney
2) Hera: Megan Amram @meganamram
3) Poseidon: Alec Sulkin @thesulk
4) Athena: Mary Charlene @IamEnidColeslaw
5) Hephaestus: Kasey Anderson @KaseyAnderson
6) Ares: Jeffrey Hadz @Hadzilla
7) Aphrodite: Caprice Crane @capricecrane
8) Apollo: Eli Braden @EliBraden
9) Dionysus: Clarke Kant @clarkekant
10) Hermes: Rob Fee @robfee
11) Demeter: Lauren Caltagirone @MrsRupertPupkin
12) Artemis: Kelly Oxford @kellyoxford

There! The Twelve Comedic Olympians of Twitter! Read at your own risk.

The Bum-Quote Archive

I hear a lot of random things, while walking around these San Francisco streets. This post will be an ever-growing archive of these absurd statements.

6/23/11 - NOTE: I promise that I'll start adding date/location with future posts.

"Ooh, yeah, Stanford's real nice. It's one of them Ivy League schools, them is."

"Hey, did you get my undies outta here?"

"Fucking pigeons!!! When they get in my shirt, I want to kill them! Bastards!!"

"Well, you know, I just sit here and check out all the hot ass that passes by. Sometimes, I might get a little change, too. It ain't such a bad life."

"I want three!! If I wanted four, I would've asked for something crazy, like two."

"I don't care when Santa was born. I need to eat, today!"

"If you don't give me a quarter, I will!"

"What? I don't... Well, who am I, when carbs storm the masses?"

"I see that! Look, he agrees with me!" (this guy was pointing at a pedestrian crossing sign)

"You're wearing glasses. I can't wear 'em, you see, they make my nose hurt. (starts mumbling)"

"The taxpayers don't know what's going on. They don't know nuthin!"

"... but, he don't share his drugs. He always asking for some change, and he always ignored by the blacks. It happens all over the country..."

"Where's my Wookiee? I can't stand here much longer without my Wookiee!"

"It's like a whore, with armpits hanging everywhere."

"Truth is ¾ lies."

"Yo baba ghanoush ain't shit!"

‎"Not something you'd think, but, that motherfu£#er can bench 300 lbs. Yeah, man, Robin Williams is great." -- 7/4/11- Haight at Clayton

"Yo, listen... sometimes, an easy whore is the only way I can live." -- 7/6/11 - Turk at Larkin

"I'm so economically-minded, I'm dangerous." -- 12/7/11 - Hyde at Golden Gate

--- To be continued, forever(?)...