Yoda, Posing...

"Sucks now, my life does."




"What? Understand, I do not"




"Myself, who I do enjoy."




"Continue to pass, the days do."





"Update the resume, I should. Highlight typing skills, I must."




"Touch not. Here I must lie."

Some More Art

"Oddity."

Shifting Lighting on the Scanner, 2011, Me....

A Question Of Balance?

Has there been a change in, "Customer Mentality," or, is it just the city I live in?
Throughout my life, I've always read a Closed sign to mean, "Closed."

Like this:
Me: **approach door** Oh, they're closed. **walk away**

These days, however, I come across this:
Person: **stepping around the closed sign** Are you closed??
Me: Yes, we are.
Person: So, does that mean I can't get a/an ____________?

What the hell is this?!? It's all relatively new to me, and, it makes me ask a few questions.
Is this just a San Francisco thing? Or, is this a national epidemic of hubris and self-importance? Have DSL and smartphones led us to a, "I need, you deliver," state?
A "Closed" sign only means one thing. It certainly doesn't mean, "We're closed to all, except you." This isn't rocket science, people.

It is things like this, that make me respect the thought process of a Dalek (alien villans from Dr. Who). As a Dalek, my prior example would go like this:
Person: Are you closed?? (while stepping around the closed sign)
Me: Yes, we are.
Person: So, does that mean I can't get a/an ____________?
Me: exterminate. ExterMinAte. EXTERMINAAAATE!!!! **lasers shoot from fingertips**

Much simpler.

Really though, what is going on? Any thoughts?

Boredom

As long as I'm adding...

This was created over a three day period.
I keep the original in a frame, on my bedroom wall.
And, yes, I was very bored...

Ink On Paper © Daniel Patrick Jones - 2010

Pisces

This is me, doing Art.
The original is 2.5"x3.5"

The scan made it enormous... that's why you see it covered with dots.
I'm breaking-in a set of oil sticks. I used the blue as the main, because that's the stick I want to use when I do the final touch-up on my TARDIS model. These oil sticks had sharp edges, which I needed to get rid of. Still, I think this little thing turned out well!

Anyway, oil on canvas, © Daniel Patrick Jones, 2011, yadda, yadda...

A Rating

I'm connected to ALL the social-media. This has it's advantages, but also, far too many drawbacks. Let me, stand now, lay down the pros/cons of these sites:

Twitter: Mostly, I follow comedians. This is my Humor Source. This is what keeps me alive. I follow other important people, but, this hasn't proven to be an outlet for friends. Sure, I'll get answers from Neil Gaiman, but, that doesn't mean that I know, or, understand, Neil Gaiman as a person.
As a social application, I think Twitter failed. I only have four friends who use it, among the many Facebookers, that I can keep some kind of communication with. Personally, I *heart* the Twitter.
I wish that more people I KNOW would use Twitter.

Tumblr: An awesome blog site! It uses the Feel, of Facebook and Twitter, and gives the user a free template, for any ideas (or format), and, the blogging possibilities can be endless.
But, like Twitter, It's an unknown (among personal friends) format, so, I follow several random accounts (many are the same people I follow on Twitter).

LinkedIn: I don't take this one very seriously. I work in the restaurant industry, and, short of a miracle, I will always be in this industry. Linkedin loves the idea of suggesting people, in careers, that I could never do.
My mom has a LinkedIn account. To those who know my mother, you know that Hell has gotten slightly colder.

MySpace: I learned many of the basics, of HTML, on this site. During their demise, they got rid of CSS sites, and, that's when they lost me. RIP, MySpace!

Facebook: Wow... what can I say about this site? When I joined, there were about 40,000 members. That was an awesome time! The near-Atari interface was the bomb. Hell, I reconnected (some, personally) with high school friends! That was when Facebook was overtaking MySpace. They went from 125 million, to 400 million, in nearly a blink of the eye... BUT, I miss the old layout.
Facebook spends so much time updating, they've forgotten that they are (used to be) Facebook!
My 'Wall' is covered with Friends commenting on Non-Friends Wall's.... Non-Friends tagging photos... people I don't know are ALL OVER my Wall.
Facebook is a whore, now. I'm addicted, now, so I'll keep using it, but...
Years ago, Facebook peaked. Not with Users; just with sweetness.

Google +: I'm an unimpressed member. Will this be the next Big Thing? We shall see...

On the debt-celing "debate" *sigh*

”Subtle details change characters’ lives in ways too complex for the conscious mind to grasp, though we nevertheless grasp them. Thus plot not only changes but creates character: By our actions we discover what we really believe and, simultaneously, reveal ourselves to others. And setting influences both character and plot: One cannot do in a thunderstorm what one does on a hot day in Jordan. (One’s camel slips, or, from homesickness, refuses to budge; so the assassin goes uncaught, the President is shot, the world is again plunged into war). As in the universe every atom has an an effect, however minuscule, on every other atom, so that to pinch the fabric of Time and Space at any point is to shake the whole length and breadth of it, so in fiction every element has effect on every other, so that to change a character’s name from Jane to Cynthia is to make the fictional ground shudder under her feet.”

— From “The Art Of Fiction” by John Gardner

Cynthia= Republican terms like “Cutting,” or “Budget”

Jane= The FACT that the debt-ceiling MUST be raised, as it always has before…

Remember: Cynthia is not Jane’s Siamese-Twin… They are unrelated!!!!!

Poem 4

Once, I said "Hi"
Such a simple word
Possibilities endless.
Could it mean,
A new friend?
Or, more than that?
A new perspective?
A new life?
Is this the greatest day?
Once, she said "Goodbye"
Bugger.

A Harry Potter Critique, In A Minor

I haven't been a fan of the Harry Potter movies for a long time. The first two, directed by Chris Columbus, were the most accurate Book-To-Film retellings ... I am a big fan of those two movies. Though visually slow, they captured the most of the reading experience, which also, is slow and developing. The minor details, that could lead to a 4 hour movie, are out.

Okay, I get that.

When the franchise handed the reins to Cuaran, I originally thought, "devastation." When I saw Prisoner From Azkaban, I was at a loss for words.... at first, I screamed, "They left out so much!!!!" Seeing Azkaban later, I realized what Alfonso Cuaran was focusing on. As a film, it became Excellent (though, it worked off of about 10% of the book).
Azkaban was still based on a 350-400 page novel. To base a 2 hour film on 75 pages was ballsy.

Now, however, we get to the 650 page novel.

After Azkaban... the ignoring of plot-lines (laid down in the novels) became more overtly obtrusive. The Goblet of Fire, though the longest novel to that point, became a lame High-Light of particular scenes. What was left out.... with what was left in (and bastardized) made the film feel like a trailer, for the Order of the Phoenix. The problem? Well, the Order on film was a gargantuan waste of time! By then, the directors had learned to Omit.

A lot of the time spent at Grimmuald Place could have included, especially, the original handling of the locket-horcrux.

By the time of Deathly Hallows Part 1, so much had been left out, that making a list here would be more exhaustive than reading The Brothers Karamazov.

What I loved about Part 2, was how they compacted the stated. As a film, and with the understanding of what is removed, this finale becomes one of the best Potter films.
As I said, the first two are the most accurate. After that, you must be able to ride the wave (probably easier to do if you haven't read each book multiple times).
This film happens (somehow) to be excellent in covering over the the previous omissions. It can almost Stand Alone.

The idea of a stand-alone Potter film hasn't been around since Azkaban, and before, the Sorcerer's Stone.

Also,though I might be vastly biased... the sequence of Snape's memories was almost too awesome.

FILM SPOILERS, AHEAD:

I'm disappointed because:

1) It isn't explained how Snape knew the location to put the sword.

2) The Final Battle happened outdoors, and, alone. In the novel, and in the Great Hall of Hogwarts, when "Tom Riddle's lifeless body falls," speaks volumes to who Voldemort thought he was, and in the end, wasn't. The film allows him to break to ashes, and float amidst the wind. It gives an appearance of Power, to Tom Riddle. Disgusting.

3) The end NEEDED to be in the Headmaster's office. Harry, talking to the portrait of Dumbledore, and, using the Elder Wand to fix his own wand... To see, "Dumbledore beaming," at Harry's decision to get rid of the Elder Wand... to get those final explanations from Dumbledore, himself....

4) Countless other things.

I'm proud to have witnessed, because:

1) With his paleness, and the wounds from the chains, depicted so well, the dragon of Gringotts was such a sad character.

2) The death of Severus Snape: Easily the best scene from a David Yates directed Potter film. Though, it was in no way related to the novel (location- those who witnessed). The utter violence. It's tenseness, with the banging wall and splatter. Terrible. It could have almost been a scene right out of the book (if it happened in the Shrieking Shack, with only Harry witnessing, while under his Cloak of Invisibility). Oh, Alan Rickman being great. The statement about the eyes.

In the future, it's probably simpler for me to re-read the novels. Other than Jaws, the movie is never better than the book. That aside, the Potter finale is worthy. It makes for great visuals to an entirely unique world (even if it leaves out half the book).

Unlike the other recent films, I give HPATDH1.5 a big Thumbs-Up.

Neil Gaiman In Berkeley

I decided to get there early. I did. When I showed-up, at the church, I saw six people sitting around the entryway. “Sweet,” I told myself, then, I decided that another coffee was important. So, I started to wander Berkeley. After some window shopping, I found myself in the home of the latte.

Mediterraneum Caffe, in Berkeley, claims that Honor. They have signs explaining that some guy (perhaps a founder, or owner), back in the early 50's, had too many complaints about espresso strength in a cappuccino. His customers were lame, and, wanted more milk, which he added, to ease their lameness. Anyway, this guy added a, “cappuccino with more milk,” to his menu, and, named it a Latte (Greek for, milk, I think). So, I ordered a caramel latte, and it was great! It was served in a huge mug, and, the foam-dollop, on top, was drawn into a leaf. After I finished the great latte, I got a coffee to-go, and went back to the church.

Back there, I noticed that the crowd had (as expected) grown. So, I picked a bench, away from the crowd, and lit a cigarette.

Ultimately, I was waiting for someone, and, I'm a considerate smoker. So, deciding that I would smoke a ton of cigarettes, and do this away from the crowd. This venue covered a whole block, and as the main entrance was closer to one intersection, I picked an empty bench near the further intersection. While I'm sitting on this bench, I figure a Facebook-check is in order. I tell myself, “ as long as I'm on my phone, I won't miss a call from Aaron.”

When I bought the tickets, I was in a maelstrom. This event sold-out within 36 hours. Whew, I had my tickets!! Surprisingly, the hard part began. I asked myself, “Who am I bringing?”

I pondered this for days. Of course, I had some easy answers... Amanda, Corinna, Greg, John, Michael, Jason, and others... These were solid contenders, but then, I recalled that I knew a published author. Not a novelist, published through Penguin, but still... a daily-writer, who spent his waking hours working on another short story. I decided that, for as much as I wanted to see Neil Gaiman, that I knew someone who needed to see him.

I chose Aaron Beyer, (his blog is at http://erroneousmaximus.blogspot.com/) to see the Neilnish. I figured an under-published, though still trying, writer (or, author) should have the chance. I asked Aaron to join me, and, found out that he is a huge Neil Gaiman fan. He said Yes, immediately. I swelled with pride, having chose the right person.

So, back to sitting on that bench....

I was looking down at my phone when, all of a sudden, I heard a British accent approaching me. I looked up. There, in front of me, in full beard, full accent, and, in full conversation with someone, was Neil himself... I started to raise my hand. My brain filled with things I wanted to say. My brain also realized that he was in mid conversation... my brain stopped. I lowered my hand, and let him pass. I didn't want to be That Guy, the one who explains to the star, "Who He Is." Nor, did I want to hold him up long enough, when suddenly, the crowd at the entrance realized he was there, and, started coming over, en masse. I mean, ugh, he was in the middle of a discussion.

A mistake. When Aaron showed up, and I was smoking another cigarette, the line wrapped around the block. I asked Aaron to get a spot, as I wrapped-up the current, then started another, cigarette.

Anywho, the line didn't last long. We already had tickets, and were able to move to another, shorter, line. We got in. We found decent seats, among the pews. We listened to @zoeboekbinder (for you Twitter peeps), then Adam Savage came out. His intro wasn't much more than Neil's Twitter bio, but, it set the stage. After Neil approached his chair, and the roar of the crowd was over.... Adam Savage (@donttrythis) was exceptionally subtle. His questions merely leaned the conversation. Neil had the freedom to ramble for 15 minutes, on any question.

Wow, um.... when I say “Ramble,” I mean that Neil was allowed to go off, on any story, about anything. Most of this appearance was about American Gods. Neil's descriptions of ideas entering a “Box,” that was, “Forgotten,” and, “Laid aside,” until looking at sign (having been awake for several days), and asking one silly question... “Did they take their gods with them?”

Bam. Who can explain a catalyst?

It's why I love to see an author discuss his/her work. Listening to a writer explain their process is pure magic. If you have never been to a book event, I highly recommend it. Listening to the author can change your perspective! A few years ago, I saw Jasper Fforde (www.jasperfforde.com) at a Barnes And Noble, and, his insights (coupled with his hilarity) were astounding.

But, at the end of it all... Neil didn't do a meet-and-greet. When he was passing me, to enter the church, I really should have stopped him; shook his hand, and, asked for a photo.

I'll be kicking myself, for years..........

On Coffee

Once upon a time, in a hilly land south of the United States, a genius, a hero… nay! the Übermensch, beget his greatest idea:

"I shall pour hot water over these ground-up beans!" exclaimed Juan Valdez.

Not since Sliced Bread has so simple an idea had such global impact. In the thousands of eons that have followed, mankind has worked tirelessly to refine Sir Valdez's technique. The fact that mankind has triumphed is wholly evident. Equally important to preparation, of course, was finding a proper name. Simply put, Hot Dirt Water isn't marketable. Alas, Coffee! A good, strong name; something you'd pay money to hear James Earl Jones say, over and over. From espresso to instant, and everything in between (excluding decaf- whose creation, like a Justin Bieber movie, was daft and unwarranted), humanity has shown that creative spark, which, long ago, forced God to dole out those opposable thumbs.

That's enough history. I'm no, "Professor," and, you know all of this, anyway.

I'm not gonna say that I drink too much coffee. It'd be like complaining that I take-in too much oxygen. Among my main vices, it's the least-outwardly destructive. The alcohol comes with hangovers, and, saying (and doing) stupid things. Also, of course, the poor memory to remember those stupid things. The nicotine comes with a persistent cough, and, everything I own smelling like an ashtray.

Coffee actually has positives. It starts my day. It keeps me active! Coffee gives me the momentum to run errands, which I'll run when I'm not busy shouting at a rock. A jolt o' joe helps me through grocery shopping, though my vision might be too blurred, to know what I just bought. It makes shopping a game, and who doesn't like a game? Currently, I'm stuck with four bags of Snausages, three packs of tampons, and, five issues of the same Self Magazine.

Ha, now what?!? Okay, I didn't say that it was a Fun game...

Another bonus occurs on my walk to work. I'm rarely burdened with walking all the way down to the next intersection. Usually, I'll just climb up, and over, any silly building that tries to get in my way. It helps me avoid that Snails-Pace, that is MUNI.

My love of coffee runs deep. Coffee looks at me and says, "Are you ready to climb Everest?" and, I look it straight in the bean, and say, "Hell yeah!" There simply aren't enough words. I could probably go o..... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..............

Bye, NHL. For The Second, And Last, Time.

Dear Atlanta Spirit Group,

Thanks for Nothing.

Nothing is what you gave to the Thrashers franchise, and now, Nothing is what you have left for Atlanta hockey fans. It has been said, "You gotta spend money to make money." After over a decade, I still meet people who don't know that Atlanta has (I mean, had) an NHL team. Getting the product-name out into the world takes spending money. Money that you were not willing/prepared to spend, and a lot of corporations took note of that. Major corporate sponsors have been jumping ship for several years, and, that's all on you, Atlanta Spirit Group. It isn't just a question of your marketing skills, either. Lackluster personnel decisions have been a decade-long trademark, too. Yes, you signed Ilya Kovolchuk... Great. Bravo. You've also shown the professional sports world how not to run a franchise. Embarrassing. Thanks to your bungling, the idea that the NHL will ever return to Atlanta is almost laughable.

You're a bunch of morons.

Sincerely and with my humblest rage,
Daniel Jones

Some More Haiku

I follow a Twitter feed of John F. Kennedy's actions, through 1961. After looking over the post history, I've come up with these haiku. These events, I believe, take place from February to May, 1961.

Statement to Soviet Union, regarding civil war in Laos:

To us, Laos matters!

I don't know the reason why.

Look, I'm jingling keys.

Cuba, Cuba, Cuba:

Revolution is good.

Man's will dictates its own path.

Freedom is the point.

Alan Shepard:

Put a man in space!

Well, I didn't, exactly...

America rocks!!

The, “President and the Press,” address:

I heart the press, true,

The pricks mingle too much, though.

Protect the country.

Negro voting rights:

Sipping my latte.

Damn you, Louisiana,

Nigga gotta vote!

More Cuba, Cuba, Cuba:

Cuba wants to front.

My finger on The Button....

Bitch, look up, “fruitless.”

Visit, and address, to Canada:

Keeping you in mind,

As allies, with benefits.

We are much better.